


The Barrier

by akingman



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, Unrequited, a different au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:54:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21666247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akingman/pseuds/akingman
Summary: The scene at Eden's doesn't go quite as planned and Andrew's life changes its course.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	The Barrier

**Author's Note:**

> This is simply self indulgent. Don't ask because I have no idea.

Andrew wakes up. For the first fifteen minutes everything is fine. He lies in bed with his nose pressed into a soft white pillow. and a line of drool from when he’d been dreaming trails from where his mouth was to the edge of the cover. He smells coffee first and a hint of something burning after and decides to get up in a few more minutes. He rests his eyes and dreams of a different reality; 

Neil stumbles into the bedroom with a smile. He’s never been careful on his feet, overeager in whatever he has planned. He knows Andrew’s awake but is still light on his feet as he approaches the bed. He walks over to the side Andrew is facing so he can see him, not as a threat, and leans over as Andrew opens his eyes. 

“Breakfast,” Neil says. 

Andrew sits up in bed and marvels in Neil’s undivided attention. The way his eyes crinkle and the light catches his curls. The way Neil’s head tilts in the direction of the light like he’s gravitating towards warmth. That warmth radiates off Andrew like waves of happiness. He leans towards Neil too, inches away from lips that part in time-

And then he opens his eyes for real and realizes he’s alone and the door is still closed. He hears Neil in the kitchen clunking around and then Kevin’s voice covering it. They seem to be arguing, as per usual. So Andrew jumps out of his bed and scratches an itch behind his head as he enters the kitchen. 

How he could forget he was living with the two biggest idiots he knew, he doesn’t know. He watches Kevin hold a glass plate five inches over Neil’s head and Neil jumping to grab for it as Kevin waves it in the air. Andrew ignores them in favor of brewing a cup of coffee for himself. He steals a row of bacon from the grease stained towel on the counter. He grabs a seat at the round dining table and picks up his phone from where he left it the night before. 

He looks up to see that Neil has gained ownership of the plate and is loading it with semi-burnt pancakes. He sits beside Andrew. Andrew pretends not to notice the proximity of Neil. The way he's forking food into his mouth like a rabid starved animal. 

Kevin gets his attention by putting dishes into the sink and grunting in his own thoughts. Kevin was always louder with his actions than his words. Andrew sets down his phone and looks at Kevin as the latter turns towards them. 

“Thea wants me to move in with her,” Kevin says. His chest rises and falls in short exhalation like he’s going to have one of his anxiety attacks. Like this is some decision that would effect their friendship dynamic. 

Andrew grunts at him and turns back to his phone without a blink of the eye. He doesn’t particularly care much about this confession from Kevin. He always knew Kevin was the breed of bird to leave the nest. Andrew clothed him, fed him and took after him but it seemed like the baby was ready to grow up. Andrew got up to fill a cup and he noticed that Neil was silent. He looked towards the red head as he took a sip. 

“You knew?” Andrew asked, quirking an eyebrow. Neil put his fork down to level a look at Andrew and shrugged. Andrew looked away, disappointed by the silent conversation happening in front of him. 

“He brought it up to me at practice,” Neil said. He went back to eating a second later and Andrew washed down his grimace with more black coffee. He stewed on the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach and walked back over to the table. 

It felt too weird to sit back down again so he finished off the bacon and dumped the rest of his coffee in the sink. 

“We didn’t think you’d care,” Kevin said and frowned when Neil shot him a look Andrew didn’t miss. But it was partial truth. Andrew did care about Kevin leaving. He cared enough, pissed that the rest of his future was shifting beneath his feet. 

Who knew how long until Neil left too? He squandered the thought and made a mental note to speak to Betsy later. He let the mug rest in the sink and turned towards the other two. Both had stopped moving altogether, waiting for Andrew’s response. 

There was a lot to think about. They all graduated together. They moved in together, knowing that their futures were bound by the one thing that kept them alive. His brother Aaron moved in with Kaitlyn so they could play couple and Nicky went back to Germany. All Andrew had left was Kevin, Neil and this game they told him was worth it. Now they were late in their twenties and living somewhat individual adult lives. After graduating and splitting off into different Pro teams. Now Kevin was going to break away from their trio and Andrew wasn’t sure what he was going to do. 

The one thing he was this. Andrew was in love with Neil, Neil would never love him back, and Andrew was going to be alone forever. It was a matter of time. And now Kevin was leaving. He tore through these thoughts and replaced them with facts. Today he had a meeting with a famous athlete for his article. And his part time job at the juvenile center to teach kids to play exy. His thoughts broke as Neil’s voice parted the mess in his brain. 

“It’ll be us two,” Neil said as if it wasn’t the biggest change he’d experienced in years. Like it wasn’t a big deal. As if it wasn’t a change that would fuck Andrew up. 

He stared at the mug in the sink and flicked his hand in the direction of the two other men in the kitchen. He wanted to say something but his words stopped at his tongue and stayed there. 

“I need to head out,” He replied instead and ignored Kevin’s dispassionate response. 

He left the two in the kitchen and walked back to his room to find something to wear. In the summer it got  unbearably hot. Andrew didn’t want to risk wearing anything too heavy that would make him uncomfortable. 

He heard the murmured voices in the background but continued to push them back into numbness. As he long as he didn’t pay attention it couldn’t hurt him. 

He thought about what it could have been like if things were different. Him and Neil would own an apartment together with two cats while sharing the same bed. Andrew’s dream would have been true. But that’s not how Andrew’s life is, and he never thought he’d get his happy ending. Now he was living with the two people he’d cared about. The ones who were drifting out of his fingers like he knew they would. Andrew’s life was a constant cycle of people walking out. He held onto his brother and cousin knowing that he was losing control of the constant in his life. He became close to Neil but after That Night at Edens, Andrew stopped wanting. He drank his yearning away until they turned into black thoughts. He stopped smoking in favor of drinking more. He cocooned his body in blankets as he stayed in, and he stopped practicing. He ended all the contracts he had around the other foxes and doomed himself to painful reality. By moving in with Kevin because his obnoxious personality kept things interesting. Living with Neil because he could not stay away. 

There was a moment where he thought he could have the one thing he thought he could never have. And then it went away. He was stupid enough to remain close to it, like a moth drawn to the light only to zap to death. The zaps in his life were small and only left a dent on the worst nights. He was on survival mode and he wasn’t sure if Kevin leaving would change that. He tried to imagine living with Neil alone and it was too much too soon. He found himself irritated during an interview. He chewed on the end of his pen and let the athlete’s voice crinkle like tin foil. He looked at his watch to check the time and found that he only had a few hours before his other job. He didn’t feel like teaching or dealing with children today, and he wasn’t sure he even wanted to do the job anymore. Yet, Wymack would piss and groan if he found out Andrew quit the job he’d fought tooth and nail to him. 

He was home in time to catch Kevin leaving and stopped in the doorway. 

“If this is about Neil-” Kevin started but shut up by Andrew’s menacing glare. 

“It’s not.” He said. 

“If it is,” Kevin trudged on, “Then you need to figure it out before I leave. We,” he said meaning Neil and himself, “Figured it out. It’s up to you.”

Andrew glared, but Kevin was right. He couldn’t, wouldn’t be selfish. He wouldn’t hurt himself more than he already had. It wasn’t worth it when he already had the next stage in his life planned out. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t be bitter over it. 

“I’ll figure it out,” Andrew said and slipped past Kevin to get to the bedroom. He had to get changed, stop by the gas station for a quick bite and head back to the local high school. 

He heard Kevin shut the door on his way out and that’s when Andrew stopped moving. He couldn’t do this. 


End file.
